Take two 30-somethings, a lot of words and ardor, put in a Ziploc bag, and shake… what do you get? A mess of cataclysmic reactions… to things that aren’t happening now… but happened to each person in the past. Honestly, it blows my mind. You need a degree in psychology to grasp what’s going on inside a relationship. Or a training manual using a lot of one syllable words.
But forget all that – the main point is, that after a week of depression and thoughts of bagging the whole thing, we are going to try to make it work! I mean, really make it work by finding a way to live and date in the same city!
I had slipped into a bottomless funk about the distance due to combination of things:
1) One too many times, a friend asking… is Fabio considering moving to the US or are you considering moving to Italy? And me answering, why no… he’s moving to Norway. And them giving me a look, like I’m the biggest idiot in the world! And trust me, I felt stupid too!
2) It’s also been killing me that nowadays, we talk the most while I’m at work in a break room with 10 strangers and co-workers walking in and out. I love talking to my honey - it’s typically a highlight of my day and full of smiles – but I when I looked into the future, I couldn’t imagine sustaining our relationship on “break room” conversations conducted between a dirty microwave and a vending machine.
3) And finally, this. The very special thing about a monogamous relationship is that you get to have sex with that person and only that person, in addition to exchanging warm cuddles and sweet kisses. If you are long-distance, you hardly ever get to do these things. Phone sex does not count. It sucks.
Love over the telephone just isn’t living! There was no light at the end of the tunnel of long-distance dating.
But God bless the Italians. I have the most romantic boyfriend on the planet. His last email concluded with kisses and the words I most wanted to hear, pulling me out of a grey fog of sadness in my office in the financial district. ”I want you to know that I want to see you and want to understand together what’s next….”
Time to make something good.
